MzKitten's Blog

Im so sick =(

2005-10-26T13:16:00.000-04:00

I've got a sinus infection,, and I think upper respiratory infection. I am taking an antibiotic, and a cough suppresant for my cough that sounds horrible ugh.. It's been a while since I've posted and gave any type of update, so I thought I'd better get in here and do so.. Hubby is doing well, he is recieved 2 bonuses this year ;) and the kids are doing well.. Still my lil butt munches, but I love's em. I am also doing daycare now for my SIL for those that don't know.. So my internet time is very minimal. I try to log on when I can.. :) I will be doing a whole site make over, and have decided to bring down the member's area.. I just don't have the time right now to have one, and I think I've decided just to offer premades, and sigtags for now.. This will be done hopefully within the next two weeks, but no promises.. I do hope you all like what I do have to offer once they are brought online for purchasing :) Everything I will post will be 100% mine .. I do believe in everyone having their own uniqueness, and creativity.. Kinda gets tiring going to the same places over the net and seeing the same things ya know.. Welp I think I've jibby jabbered enough! I hope you all have a wonderful hump day!!

Hugs,
Tammers~

My Tiggy Tiger :) Come play with him.. Isn't he darling!

2005-10-26T13:11:00.000-04:00

Something Cute =^..^=

2005-10-21T13:00:00.000-04:00

I got this from a friend's blog, who got it from another blogger who was either bored or got the idea from another friend....
Go google your name and the word needs (together), then post the first 10 results that are applicable.

Tammy

Tammy needs babes in dreamland (WHAT?) ROFL~
Tammy needs hot black adult (NOT!) Shakes head no frantically!

Now my middle name

Rene'

Rene' needs to be hailed-Not!!
Rene' needs to support-Yep from my bra lol
Rene' needs a face lift-nah!! I do need one for my @55
Rene' needs to support bigger ones- I prefer hubby ty! LOL
Rene' needs fresh air-After this who doesn't?
Rene' needs volunteers-Nah.. just dh ..
Rene' needs help-Yep from all her friends
Rene' needs to be remembered-She hopes she will be after this rofl
Rene' needs a home-Nah! Already have a nice one :)
Rene' needs prayers-Absolutely~

Quiz Time

2005-10-20T19:48:00.000-04:00

your an earth nymph! you love animals, and you feel
most comfortable around them. you are probably
a little shy around people, so some see you as
distant. your also very intelligent, and you
love to read.

what would you be in a fantasy world? (amazing pics!)
brought to you by

Afternoon ..

2005-09-20T14:05:00.000-04:00

Well today has been a pretty busy one again.. of course M-Fri always are in this household. Today is only Tuesday.. and I am wishing like the dickens Friday was already here.. I am sooo tired.. not necessarily physical, but mental. I just grabbed myself something to eat, and Im getting ready to take my meds.. Hopefully it will ease off some of the tention, and tiredness and give me some more energy to think, move, everything. lol I feel I am in a slump today, and just need to get off my ass and get what needs to be done .. done.. and look where I am now.. go figure.. Anywho I got all the kids off the school which is a plus.. also put a child support check in the bank from Sierra's bio mom .. a whole $78.61.. and with what we had in the bank already, and what I spent today on groceries.. I have just under 30$ left.. Gosh I hope hubby doesn't hit the roof... or get mad.. :(.. I had everything else.. but meats (dinner)... and please tell me why groceries are so damn outrageous anymore ugh!! ..It's like you have spend an arm and a leg to get meals for you family, or just so your family can survive.. it's totally craZy.. Welp I best bring this vent/sob story to a close.. Big hugs to you all..

Tammers
PS Will post more later, but here is one of my favorite songs my Billie Myers... =)

Hello...Can you hear me
Am I getting through to you
Hello...Is it late there
Is there laughter on the line
Are you sure you’re there alone
Cuz i’mTrying to explain
Something’s wrong
You just don’t sound the same
Why don’t you
Why don’t you
Go outside
Go outside
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the night’s
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can’t wait till morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Hello...
Do you miss me
I hear you say you do
But not the way I’m missing you
What’s new
How’s the weather
Is it stormy where you are
You sound so close but it feels like you’re so far
Oh would it mean anything
If you knew What I’m left imagining
In my mind
My mind
Would you go
Would you go
Kiss the rain
As you fall Over me
Think of me
Think of me
Think of me
Only me
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lipsFeel hungry and tempted
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the night’s
As empty for me as for you
If you feel you can’t wait till morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain(kiss the rain)(kiss the rain)(kiss the rain)

OI! I have a splitting, pounding, headache......

2005-09-15T22:07:00.000-04:00

What do you know .. Hubby isn't home from work yet, and it's 10:07 pm and he has been gone since 5:00 am.. wtf? I mean I know he has to work.... but I don't like being alone .. silly huh? Ok so the kids were pretty reasonable today. Didn't have much trouble with them, and I handled myself so much better today. I think it's the new medicine finally kicking in .. who knows.. I am just feeling so blah*.. Maybe I should call it a night, ... but parts of me doesn't wanna.. but I guess I outta as I have to get up at 7 am.. and it comes to damn early in this household. Welp.. that was just a vent.. sorry if I bored you, and if your easily offended please kindly click the red "x" .. :D Love to all ... (you know who you are) ..

Update.. I recieved a birthday card from my brother....

2005-09-14T10:10:00.000-04:00

Some of you know that my brother is incarcerated (won't go into details, as it's not my place).. anyways .. I recieved a handmade birthday card from him .. it is 11X13.. On the front is Garfield.. and the inside front says "Happy Birthday to you may all of your wishes come true, this day belongs to you with lots of hugs and kisses too." .. Than he says this ..

Dear Tammy,Hope you had a good birthday. Sorry it has taken me so long to send you this card. I've been out of glue and when I finally got two bottles, I made me some new shelves out of card board. I hope and pray that you like the card. Hope all is well with you and your family. Me Im doing good. They still haven't put any money in my account. I wish they would hurry up, so I can order my stuff. On of the guys that I know he is letting me use his B&W TV.. I so miss my color TV, but anything is better than nothing. I miss you guys so very much. And I hope I'll be home soon. Just keep praying for me and I know God will answer all of our prayers. Tammy I know I haven't been the best brother to you and I'm sorry for that. And I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I just hope you can find it in your hear to forgive me for being such an a$-S and butthead to you. You are my only sister that I will ever have..And I don't know what I'd do without you as my sister, or you love you have for me. May God and peace be with you always..Love your bro,Shawn

This card has touched me so much.. There was a time that me and my brother never did get along. We were always cutting one another down, calling each other names, fighting, arguing, bickering, and so forth..Do I regret a lot of things that I did to my brother .. yes I do.. and I will spend the rest of my days as well, trying to make it up to him when he is back home where he belongs. I miss him so much .. But we are now grown now.. I am "30" and he is "32" .. So there has been a lot of growing up.. but there will always be that emotional scaring that we did to each other.. It's pretty sad that it took him going to jail, for us to get closer, and treat each other the way we should have upteen years ago.. It's so heart wrenching.. and to be honest.. I was such a mean sister .. but at the time I was a kid.. sure it continued through my teen years.. but you know what.. Im now older, and a bit wiser,So I sat down and wrote him back a letter.. I will mail it off when Andrew leaves for school.. I surely hope I haven't bored any of you with this.. it just touched me so much..

Good Morning All

2005-09-07T08:48:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone! ..

What a busy last month we had. Our children have already started school. They started August 29th. So far so good!! Just have to keep our fingers crossed. Our oldest son has been out of school now for "3" days. Something is happening with his tummy, and we aren't quite sure what is happening. Took him to the doctors yesterday, and the doctor order Daniel to have an X-ray done. Not sure of the outcome on that .. but as soon as I know I will update. Also last week our van decided to go blah (for lack of a better word), and we ended up having to replace the starter.. $145 down the road, and our van is back in running condition. We also had to replace the battery. But my parents had one, and we hooked it up to our van.. and walla!!.. We plan on buying a new battery within in the future, so the one that is in there now, is just for a temporary basis.. That's about all that has occurred, so I guess I will close for now :) .. If you read this.. thank you.. you just took the time to read about my life, and what's happening, and I can't thank you enough!! Till next time.......

Guess it's that time again...

2005-08-23T13:29:00.000-04:00

Well guess it's that time again for an update on the clan. As most of you all know we are in the process of purchasing our own home. We are still looking, and we know it's going to take sometime.. We have recently refinanced our 2001 Ford Windstar LX.. We dropped our payments down from $332 to $217 .. Whoot!! .. Yeah!! Some extra savings hehe :) ..

Also the kiddos start back to school on the 29th. Yep, all four kiddos will be in school. My youngest, Andrew, starts Pre-k this year. I just finally got him potty trained hallauh!! Took me about 6 weeks but we did it!! I am so proud of him... He is a big boy now :) ..

I have managed to also go through the kids clothing and toss out clothing that longer fits them. Some I have trashed, some I will be donating to the Trift store so another lil girl/boy can treasure them. I still have a ton to do..

That is where my time is spent most of the day. I try to log into all my groups/email.. to let everyone know what's going on..

I hope you all have had a great summer.. Fall is just around the corner! ..

Has anyone started Christmas shopping? :)

Big huggles,
Tammers

Afternoon All..

2005-06-05T12:29:00.000-04:00

Welp today has been pretty good, other than my phone ringing this am and it woke the whole house up ugh!!.. I wanted to sleep in, (insert growl) .. I have been up since about 8:30 am .. I got the kiddos fed, and gave meds, bathed Andrew, the other kids bathed before bed lastnight.. and I got Andrew ready to leave with his bio father for the afternoon, he will be back around 7ish!~... Hubby is outside right now, and he is tinting the windows, to keep the hot air out, and keep him cooler, not to mention adding free on? (not sure how you really spell it.. LOL) but you get the point.. and I will be working on laundry most of the day today, and cleaning house.. It needs a clean me up pretty desperately.. and I will be definetly cleaning mine and dh's room.. It's a mess in itself.. But beyond that I wanted to give an update for you all, and yes I am still here lol.. I will try to update as much as I can.. But sometimes I just don't feel like being online much anymore.. It get's to me ..

Hugs & Love,
Tammers~

Hi everyone!! Woohoo It's Memorial Day Weekend!!

2005-05-27T16:35:00.000-04:00

Wow.. so much has happened since I last updated.. Good news is everyone here is well.. I am staying busy with the house, doing the bills, paying the rent, being a wife, being a mom, and being me ... I have taken a much needed break from a lot of things I do on the internet.. Some days I feel like being on the computer, other than times I just wanna back away from it and say forget it.. I have gotten into dolling a bit here lately.. Not saying I am any good at it.. But it's something I do enjoy doing.. Maybe one of these days I will have my own bases ;) , and own dolls that are 100% by me.. Never say never right? I have also being spending most of my time not only with KTS, and working on WWW site, but I have also been staying busy at one of my favorite online msn groups and that is Pixelkins.. Everyone there is so nice, generous, and their work is truely admirable and just plain awesome.. hmm let's see.. I have also been staying busy at a awesome forum called "Secret Garden" and here recently just joined another forum :) .. That is how I spend some of my time as far as being online.. I have a ton I need to update and add to my WWW site.. and that will get done as soon as possible.. It's my dream.. and one of these days I will have some members rofl.. I think I am going close it for the mean time right now until I get updates.. updated.. and I can get a updater box doo hickey ma jiggy thingy LOL .. You know one of those things... :) Anyways I hope each of you have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.. here in the states it's a 3 day holiday here WHOOT!! Yay!! ;) ...

Sending my hugs and love to all... Tammers~

Good Morning Everyone~

2005-04-14T09:33:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Ladies and Gent =)

How are you all this fine Thursday morning.. Me I am feeling great.. Couldn't be better.. =) ... Girls got up without any fits, got them dressed, You all know the routine so I won't bore you to tears with it ROFL, than they left for school.. Got the garbage together (need to take it outside here in a few), got the dishes soaking, made a pot of coffee, got Andrew changed and dressed, and here in a few minutes I've gotta get Dan up and raring to go b'c he has school today as well.. Need to give him his meds early so all will be ok.. He did really well in school yesterday.. behavior for him was 97% and Sierra's was 85% .. Not to bad.. :D ... Got Carries' IEP meeting forms the day before yesterday, and even though she has come a long way, I think they are going to be keeping her for 1 more year as they say she would be lost in a regular classroom.. Right now she is in Special Ed Kindergarten at one of the finest schools here in ST Mary's County (Green Holly Elementary School).. I love this school so much.. So that's a plus not to mention I stay in daily/wkly contact with her 3 teachers :) ... 1 of which is her special ed teacher :) ..

Let's see I am just rambling on aren't I... I feel so good now that I can come here and not have to worry about Court anymore (at this point that is Knock on wood).. He did state before this hearing in front of my lawyer, his lawyer, and myself that if he didn't win this time, that 8 mos down the road he would drag me back through this again... He is such an ass.. To me it isn't about our son at all.. It's about what Donald wants.. and to be frank.. He would like nothing more than to see me miserable for the rest of my life, he isn't happy unless he is making everyone elses life a misery.. sickening isn't it??? .. Makes it very hard for me to give him any type of respect.. If I had one wish in this whole entire world .. It would be for all of us to get along for the sake of everyone..Not just Andrew.. but the rest of the kids.. The master made the statement on the stand while I was sitting in the cubical part do hickey ma jiggy thingy (lol), and stated to Donald has he EVER came by to pick up Andrew and asked myself, and my husband if we would like to go out to dinner all of us, and it would be his treat? Donald's response was "NO" .. master asked "WHY?".. Donald's response was "I have tried in the past" UMM MY ARSE he has.. He despises the fact that I am married to Mike, and if truth be known.. He has "tried" to do everything under the sun to tear my marriage with Mike apart.. But alas he has been unsuccessful..

Mine and Mike's love is like no other.. He is not only my husband.. But he is my friend, my lover, my soul mate, my companion, my everything!!.. Me and Mike have known each other since I was 16, and he was 24.. Lots of history there between us.. and we share 1 child together (biologically)... .. I am now 29 yrs old, will be "30" in August *sigh and *cringe LOL, and Mike is almost 37 yrs old.. .. I am tired of these false allegations, and assumptions from my ex.. AND to let all know I was NEVER married to Donald, WHICH to me is a blessing... Also, in court he tried to make me out to be this horrible woman, where I have had 3 children out of wedlock, by different dads, yadda yadda.. Well, the kids weren't born right behind each other.. My bio children are Daniel 11, Carrington 5, and Andrew 4... Dan was 6 yrs old and some months when I gave birth to Carrington.. and Carrington was 10 mos old when I became pregnant with Andrew, and 18 mos-19mos when I gave birth to Andrew... To me .. I don't think I am a bad person.. Did I make poor choices in the men I decided to be with intimately.. "yes" .. I am not afraid to say so.. Do I regret having my children? NEVER.. there will never be a day in my life that I will ever regret having any of my kids, .. They are my life, my all, and it if I ever lost any of my children, it would kill me to no end.. I would fall apart, I would never be the same person.. Makes me wonder while we were in court, if that master seen anything in my face, expressions, the tears rolling down my face, my eyes... The whole time I spoke I looked at the master, straight in the eyes.. I broke down like no tomorrow...

But if you all only knew half the crap this man has put me through these last 5 yrs.. All I will say is .. I would never want this to happen to anyone, even my worst enemy.. This was the most hardest, difficult thing, I have had to face since I came into this world... But .. in the end I walked out of there knowing that custody wasn't changed.. and I still have primary placement.. Which brings me to another note..

Donald brought up my smoking, and how it is dangerous for myself and my son.. Granted ok.. I know smoking isn't a great thing.. but I think I use it more for a crutch, no other way to explain it.. But the master made the statement that I should try my hardest to quit, or smoke outside, or whatever..

But I have a question.. If that master ordered me to quit smoking.. Isn't that against my constutional rights as a American?? Just thought I would ask, b'c I am a lil bit taken about this whole scenerio... I thought America was where freedom isn't a issue, (within reason).. Just wanted to get everyone's thought's on this..

Keeping in mind I know smoking isn't a great thing, and be it right or wrong, I am a smoker and have been for 10 yrs (PSSt.. even when we were dating me and Donald.. I was smoking..) and my mother has been a smoker since she was 13 .. and she's now 49.. (so a bit of food for thought) .. not that is important.. but just wanted you all to know...

Thanks for listening and hearing me out... makes me feel a bit more at ease to come and vent...

Love and Hugs and All that Stuff,
Tammers~

It's Wednesday.. and good afternoon all...

2005-03-09T14:23:00.000-05:00

Taking a break from cleaning house, as I am expecting company this wknd, and the following Monday I have court.. Pretrial hearing on the "custody" issue.. Im such a nervous wreck :( ... my stomach is so tied up in knots.. I just want this nightmare to be over with ... Aside from that.. I can't tell you how good it feels to walk through my home, and it be so clean!! .. :) I have been staying ontop it of it .. and lessing up my free time that I normally spend on the computer, and applying to my duties as a wife and mother ;) ... My husband has even noticed.. and told me how proud he was.. I think what I am doing is doing everything I can to keep this crap off my mind.. figure if I am keeping myself busy with something else.. I won't be bothered.. does that make any sense? ... I think I will be opening MzKitten's Kreation's up on Friday!! ;) ... and as weeks go on adding more goodies for you all... All that I ask is you all have patience wif me ;) ... (((huggles))).. sending my love.... Tammers~

Update: Mediation Part II

2005-03-03T19:48:00.000-05:00

Ty everyone .. your thoughts and prayers mean a lot to me ..

As far as mediation today~ .. Well let's just say ... the mediator suggested Donald get him on his wknds as normal, me on my wknds as normal than M-F me have my son in the mornings, and him have them in the evenings.. YEAH!! right!! .. I didn't agree to anything.. I paid my attorney over $800.. and not to settle outside of court.. I want the judge to really see what is going on.. My lawyer seen it, and even the mediator gave me a hug before I left today, and said I tried, and she was really proud of me .. So that made me feel really good .. even though she can't choose sides, she was really happy to see I didn't back down.. so what's that tell you.. Alot of what he was bringing up during our mediation times, was old crap that happened either 4-5 yrs ago, or 8-10 mos ago.. Point blank in a matter of speaking .. I ruined him for life, b'c he can't trust another woman, yadda yadda.. I just told him I was really sorry to hear that.. that he needs to leave the past in the past, and just move on.. No sense in living in the past.. fact is .. I left him due to numerous reasonings, 1) he was verbally abusive to me and my two children (Dan and Carrington), 2) he was verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, 3) He was a heavy drinker...
Now can you ladies see why I left him.. It was for my own good, and my children's.. He also brought up the fact that I gave birth to our son, without letting him know, so he could be there, but keep in mind we were NOT together, I left him when I was about 2-3 mos pregnant with our son, and I didn't think he needed to be there, be it right or wrong :( .. What is done, is done.. We can't go back and change anything.. He has said so many nasty things.. and I really tried not to break down in tears .. but I did.. and well I think he got what he wanted out of me .. as far as I am concerned.. I guess that's a high for him, who knows.. but even when we were together, that's all I did.. So I knew it wasn't going to work.. and I knew me and the kids deserved so much better.. So therefore, when I left today from mediation, I did NOT agree to anything.. period!! .. I didn't say ya or na.. I said I would be willing to speak with him, about our son, but nothing more.. meaning health related, etc.. nothing about custody, b'c I am not about to give him full custody.. I love my son with all that I am..
I can't tell you that I am not worried or scared be'c I am .. but my family is standing behind me, my son's psychiatrist is behind me, and so are my friends offline and online.. I love you all... ..

Welp, before I burst into tears yet again.. I guess I will bring this to a close.. I am so tired..

Sending Hugs,
Tammers~

Good Wedesday Afternoon Everyone!!

2005-03-02T15:00:00.000-05:00

Afternoon my friends... Well yesterday was just one of those grrr days ... Yep 1st day of mediation .. and let me tell you, it took all I had not to scream at my ex.. The constant lies he keeps saying.. Accusations he keeps persuming... They irritate to me to no end.. How can he sit there and tell lies.. I retaliated though by saying "That's a lie!!!", after he made his accusations.. What a arse!!!!!! .. I couldn't wait to get out of there.. and Yes as soon as I walked out of the building I lit a cigarette, it was either that, or spray a can of whoop arse on him, but the more I thought about it... He isn't worth me going to jail!! .. He definetly makes me very ill to my stomach with is constant antics, and using "OUR SON" as a wedge... Don't you know according to him I am not a fit and proper person to care for his son!!!!!!!! .. OMGOSH!!!!! can you imagine what I wanted to say to his sorry SOB arse... Im sorry if this post bothers any of you.. My patientence is just wearing thin these days.. and I tried my hardest not to let him know that the things he was accusing me of doing, etc. didn't bother me.. But Im human, and yes they did, and he through me in tears 2 times.. I didn't cry b'c I am guilty, I cried b'c he is making me out be this evil mother.. and I am not.. I love my kids with everything in me.. They are my life, and they are who I breathe and stay here for.. I love each of them the same.. They all recieve, hugs and kisses, and I love's you's all the time.. And the whole time during this mediation session after he would say everything he said.. he would have this sarcastic grin upon his face (insert anger smiley) .. I felt like the size of a pea when I walked out of there.. and tomorrow is the next session for mediation (11-1 pm).. all I can say is "God give me strength" I surely need it these days :( .. Than when I got home and hubby walked in from work, he had grabbed the mail, and one of the pieces of mail was from Housing Authorities, telling us our housing voucher was declined, that we had lost section 8 :( I didn't know what to think :( how could this possibly be.. we have done everything and anything to be sure that everything was done and turned in, including going to a housing meeting, which we both did, and than turning around and having them come out and inspect our home.. Which they did and we passed.. I was racking my brain.. when suddenly I realized my husband didn't tell me he had a wage verification form he needed to get filled out through his new employer (yes thankfully he is back at work).. so when he turned in his paperwork this past Sat for working the previous wk, he turned in that paperwork, and his job was dragging thier feet.. Mike tried numerous times to call Housing Authorities from the house to talk to our case manager, but she wasn't available.. At any rate Mike was sick of playing phone chase... so he went to the Housing Auth. in person.. finally we have gotten it all straightened out, and therefore, will be keeping our section 8.. Thankfully, phew.. I tell you when it rains it pours... Oh and before I close .. Mom is doing much better, the meds/nasal asp. that the doctor prescribed for her, is helping her out so much.. Let's just pray it stays that way.. Well .. I guess I better bring this to a close..

Much love to you all!!

Tammers!

What a awesome day I had today!!

2005-02-26T20:03:00.000-05:00

Hi All ;)

Well, today started out wonderful.. The kids were truely amazing.. They followed rules, and directions, without any feedback.. ;) It was yes ma'm, and no ma'm ;) .. What polite manners they have.. Than I wanted to make them breaky, they decided differently.. They wanted poptarts =) .. so after they ate.. I cleaned them up and the breaky mess.. and got them clothes set out, they got dressed, while I got dressed, and all that good stuff.. than I called mom, and she came on by and picked us up .. spent most of the day/afternoon over there.. helped momma clean her house some, and cooked dinner so she could eat before she left for work... I made cheesy mac, corn, and green beans mmm.. than came home and made brownies!!! The kids were in 7th heaven.. Mike worked today, and he has to go to DC tomorrow to pick up his new truck =) .. So I will just be home for the remainder of this evening and tomorrow.. So I will be playing catch up with some posts inbetween doing loads of laundry..

This Tuesday and Thursday is the two days for mediation ugh... from 9:30 am -11:30 am .. than our pretrail hearing is March 14th (day before my mom's dad's passing away =( passed away1985).. at 8:30 am .. I will be so glad when this nightmare is over with, but I'm doing what I need to do to fight for my son, and I will not go down without a fight.. I do not think mediation will work .. but I can't go in thinking that.. and I can't tell you honestly that I am not nervous because I am .. Transparenting was bad enough but there was at least 10-12 other participants in the room with us.. As far as mediation it's just me, him, and the mediator, well .. let's just say Im a lil uncomfy... but i know it's for a good cause in the end.. Who knows? Only time will tell.. Just irks me to no end that he is using our son as a tool/wedge.. angers me to no end.. :(

All that I care about is my son's well-being.. He is whom I worry about the most during all of this .. Thankfully, he doesn't know anything.. Unless Donald has said something to him, which I don't think he has.. You all see him .. he is always so clingy to me, and he is always kissing and hugging me and saying I wubs you mommy, your my mommy... is what he keeps saying to me.. and it melts my heart, but makes think in the back of my mind, what if Donald is saying things about me in front of him.. :( Just pisses me off...

On that note.. I think Im going to close this for now.. Going to go post on my msn group, and maybe work on my site a bit.. sending my love!!!!

Another Quiz For The Tamed Heart hehe

2005-02-22T22:58:00.000-05:00

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Hard
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a river, very refreshing
Your Partner Is...	Your best friend
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are extrodinary
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"One must know how to seduce"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

New Quiz

2005-02-22T22:57:00.000-05:00

What Anime Series Do You Belong In? by Fibinator
Full Name
Age
Anime Series	Trigun
Why	you are a good fighter

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Gosh when it rains .. it surely does poor.. Please say a prayer for my momma =(

2005-02-22T22:54:00.000-05:00

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.. I still haven't heard anything .. Hubby is in bed as he has to work tomorrow.. no way out of that one.. and my niece and nephew are at sleep.. and all my kids are asleep .. Im downstairs now just waiting for the phone to ring .. and so far nothing ..But I am hoping to hear something soon.. but I don't think it will be to soon.. as we all know that hospitals take a while.. I will give it another hr or so .. and than call the hospital and find out how she is doing .. My dad gets off work at midnight .. and hopefully Jenny will come back to the house and pick up her youngings.. if not that's ok too..May just have her stay the night here .. considering the circumstances.. Im just worried ugh .. This isn't the first time momma has been in the hospital ... she has been in there for other things ... Im just beside myself right now.. b'c I don't have a license .. therefore I can't drive.. ... But I thank you all for being supportive.. and reading my posts and saying prayers.. that means so much to me..

Sending my love.. I soon as I hear something .. I promise I will come post...

Love to all

Afternoon Friends...

2005-02-20T12:21:00.000-05:00

Today I visited some of my most closet friends sites, and doodled them :P .. but beyond that .. I have one special friend.. of whom I visited her site .. Passionate Poet.. I read through her posts.. and I can honestly say they really hit home.. They way she expresses herself through her wordings; It just hits home.. She had this test you could take ... and here are my results.. please feel free to reply to my entries .. as I would like to see your feedback, etc... ok .. onto the results;

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you tothe Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Please feel free to leave a response..

Evening All..

2005-01-31T22:55:00.000-05:00

Evening all... How was everyone's weekend? Anything exciting happen? How was your day today??? .. My kids had a 2 hr delay today due to inclement weather ..growl.. I so don't like them days LOL.. I always look forward to my break times.. Mommy time, ya know ... I must apologize for not being around these last couple of days ..but they certainly couldn't be helped.. my 5 yr old daughter is very sick.. .. we took her to the docs today .. and she was diagnosed with "croup" .. she is on 4 different meds at this time.. doctor wants to see her back on Friday.. to do a recheck.. *crosses fingers* that she starts to feel betters.. I so dislike when any of my babies are sick .. and yep even though they are 11, 9, 5, and almost 4.. they are all my babies still.. Tomorrow I have to drop off some paper work at the court house that needs to be filed .. but when I get back home from doing our errands I will give you any types of updates as I know them... but for right now I want to go lay down with her and hold her...

TGIF!!

2005-01-28T20:25:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone...

Well I guess now would be a really good time to explain to you all what happened in Court on Wednesday... Wasn't at all what I had expected.. In fact, I was assured we would go in front of the judge .. However, this wasn't the case.. Case was my lawyer and Donald's lawyer went in the Master Harris (judge) Chambers .. Meanwhile, me and mom are sitting down with anticipation (wishing we were flies on the wall/ceiling) I was dying to know what was being said back there.. But alas .. I didn't find out until my lawyer returned.. He than sat down and told me what Donald's lawyer's first words were out of his mouth .. They were .. and I quote "I have cleaned up my act, got my life back on track, and I am now ready to be a fulltime daddy, and he want's Full Custody of his son"... at this point my lawyer was chuckling a bit.. .. but kept it inside.. and than once the judge heared what Donald's lawyer said .. I kid you not.. Master Harris said "You've gotta be kidding me.. If this is the best you can do, you might as well go now, because your wasting my time, and the courts time.. That's when Donalds lawyer spoke up again and said wait there is a "little bit" more .. Judge listened .. and this was an out and out lie and the judge knows it.. but said I was not allowing Donald his visitation rights (which is umm ermm wrong) and a total Lie... and also made the statement that I would call him and tell him to come get Andrew b'c I can't handle him.. Now this again is an out and out lie.. I have 4 kids .. and yes as much as they get on my nerves.. I love them.. But I would never pine them off, nor say I couldn't handle them.. His angered me so .. He also dissed my parental skills.. and so and so forth.. Ladies I have been a mother for almost 12 yrs ... And my kids are happy, healthy, and well-educated.. Verses his 4 yrs at being whatever he thought he was.. and now stating he wants to be a full time daddy?? Umm excuse me he should have been that from the word GO... that's his problem not mine.. Isn't my fault he thought throwing darts, shooting pool, partying,drinking, dwi's, was more important than spending time with his son... Yes I managed to get a copy of his driving and criminal records .. and let's just say they are as long as my arm if not longer.. He has also spent time in jail ... I also ran one on me .. My records are clean.. b'c for one I don't have a drivers license, therefore, I dont drive, nor have a driving record.. I think the most stupidest things I did was having kids so young.. I wish I would have waited .. But what's that old saying would've should've could've... fact is this is life, this is reality.. and well I am doing my hardest to do what is right for all MY kids.. None of them go for nothing.. He also stated my home wasn't sufficient enough for his standards... Well urmm excuse me .. I think my house is very nice.. and I really could careless what he thinks.. All I will say is .. our home was appraised for $125,000.. our rent we pay is $1250 for a 5 bedrm, 2 full bath, den, livingroom, diningroom, country eat in kitchen, and seperate laundry room.. 2 of the bedrooms we converted one into mine and hubbies office, and the other is a playroom... I really don't know what my ex's problem is .. But Lemme just say Im fed up..

Now back to the Court scenerio.. We were ordered into Transparenting Course (2 sessions) and Mediation (2 sessions) .. UGH!!! Than once we do these next mth and they are done and over with .. we have a pretrail hearing date scheduled for March 13th ..

All I can ask is why me :( .. What have a done to deserve this.. What is it he wants from me ..

In a few words I can tell you why.. One because I have gone on with my life, Two because I have for once found happiness, and I don't deal with BS ... Three I have stood my ground with him, and showed and proved to him I am not a failure and I can't make it without him in my life..

Why is he acting this way? B'c the fool after 4 yrs still isn't over me.. He claims he is still in love with me .. yadda yadda yadda... Well I don't believe that .. and I never will.. The best I thing I did for myself was leaving him.. best thing I have done for Andrew is standing by him, and letting him also be a part of his *cough* Bio father's life..

Im sorry this post is so long.. But I wanted to sum this up the best way I knew how... and to make sure what I was writing made sense..

All I can do now is relax.. do the things the judge ordered me to do.. and keep my head held up high.. B'c for once in my life I feel strong.. and I will not allow him to bring me down to his ignorant level.. However, I will not stop him from showing and proving his true colors..

Much Love To All,
Tammy

Blah~ It's Sunday

2005-01-23T14:18:00.000-05:00

Morning...

Just another Sunday morning.. Didn't get up til noon.. what is a matter with me roflmao... Guess I just needed some extra zz's .. Who knows.. Right now I have sinus infection and omgosh it's the worst.. I can't stand feeling this way.. This weather is enough to kill anybody growl! ... I have many things to get done today as far as straightening up, and doing and putting away laundry.. Blah!! .. Im in a ho hum mood today ... Prolly cause I am bored outta my mind.. sick of looking at this screen sometimes, and seeing 4 walls surrounding me.. Must be Cabin Fever.. I need to get more often... Was going to go over my gf's house "Leslie" but Mike didn't feel like traveling out.. ugh.. and Yes if you all don't know I don't have my driver's license.. But after taxes come back watch out.. I am going to do everything I need to do to get my license.. so I have a way out.. If I want to go some where I will go.. If there is something I need to do.. I can do it.. without having to ask anyone for help.. Kinda get sick of having to have ppl tote me around.. Makes me feel awful =(.. Anyways enough ranting.. I better get off here and get the things I need to get done... DONE... Big hugs to you all.. Love's you all..

Tammers~

Cute Quiz I came across.. Fill in your name and your S/O name ;)

2005-01-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Best friends
Your meeting was by	Chance
They are your	Sweetheart
You are their	Baby
Your love will	Never end

Quiz created with MemeGen!

*waves hello~ Im back~

2005-01-19T13:20:00.000-05:00

from court that is...

Phew... glad this part is over... He settled out of court, meaning it didn't go infront of Judge Harris... He was ordered to pay $204.82 a mth vs. $166.00... I was on time this am.. Donald (ex) was late... He came in .. they asked who he was .. gave his full name.. than asked what the other parties' name was .. and he said Tammy (than my maiden last name).. The woman is looking through paperwork.. My states attorney speaks up on my behalf, and tells the other woman .. while looking at Donald.. that it IS NOT Tammy (maiden last name) it is Tammy Willman and you will speak of her as such.. Donald didn't like that .. and they handed him a slip of paper to fill out.. he refused took the paper with him.. called his attorney.. and asked them if he needed to fill this out.. and of course the obvious answer was YES.. LOL hehe .. So his attorney shows up.. and says who he is yadda yadda yadda.. than calls me by my maiden name again .. grrrrrrrr.. woman says NO SIR her name is Tammy Willman, and please speak to her as such yet again.. at this time the states attorney's office is getting really perturbed... So ..Donalds lawyer makes the statement I am aware Mrs Willman doesn't have an attorney .. my states attorney speaks up .. and says Yes Sir she does.. Shawn Moran is her attorney.. I wish you ladies could have been flies on the wall when his attorney heard this.. up until today they had no CLUE I had a lawyer. His lawyer took a few steps back and did a jitter.. ROFLMAO.. than he walks out and procedes to tell Donald ... So as you know we had to negoitate before we appeared in front of the judge.. (to handle it out of court so to speak).. Well based on his income.. and the guidelines of Child Support.. they figured $211.82 a mth.. Donald refused... it went back and forth.. and Donald said I will pay $198.82 and nothing more.. Well than I refused and stood my ground.. because MY Goodness there isn't much difference.. so we decided on a median.. and that was $204.82.. Donald agreed.. So .. as of right now that is what he is ordered to pay to me.. I signed the documents when they called me.. and let me tell you that my states attorney walked into the middle of the pews and said Mrs Tammy WILLMAN~ and Willman was long and drawn out hehe.. she winked at me.. and said follow me .. so I did .. looked over the paperwork... and signed and dated it :) ... and than she said sweetie your free to go... so as I was headed out.. I stopped and looked at mom .. so we could go... and Donald walks behind me .. and brushes his arm against mine.. (more of a hard brush).. intimidation purposes.. and his lawyer grabbed his arm... and walked him out.. and I heard him say.. "THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE"... ROFLMAO.. by this time Im nearly dying.. but keeping it in.. I walked in and walked out with my head held up high :) and it still is... Now to go to this other court hearing date which was scheduled for Jan 26th @ 8:00 or 8:30 am.. I have to take a double look at it :) .. But I wanted you all to know where it stands now.. .. Thanks everyone for your support and caring it means a lot to me ...

Love to all,
Tammers~

Morning All..

2005-01-18T11:57:00.000-05:00

Morning Everyone~

It's a cold burrr Tuesday morning.. and Im thankful to be home... Lemme explain.. Yesterday obviously my children didn't have school.. and I have 4 so keep that in mind.. Well dh calls me around 11:30 am and says "Honey, Im over at calvert land field.. was wondering if you wanted to go with me to King George, VA".. I said sure... and I got the kids ready to go.. got their coats on them.. got them in the car and off we went to meet him up at the parking lot by the bingo hall... Well I parked the van to where my dh could grab the kids and put them in the van.. and we did this.. This would be his second load.. keep in mind.. well we got the second load dumped.. and his boss man calls dh on his cell phone and tells me to let dh know that he wants him to call before leaving the land field.. well my dh did so.. just to find out that one of the other drivers had a break down.. They figure out the problem.. but the truck wouldn't run.. so dh's boss had a tow truck to come out and get the truck that was down.. Told dh to grab the loaded trailer and go ahead and dump it.. well my husband did this .. and no sooner did he hook up .. OUR TRUCK DIED ... :( Yes it cut out .. UGH!!!!!!!! the stupid computer went out in it .. We sat in that cold truck for "4.5 hrs" freezing our behinds off.. I crawled in the back of the sleeper where my 4 kids were and bundled them up all around me .. to try and keep them all warm (well to the best of my ability that is) :( .. We were all freezing by the time the road side help got there.. .. but thankfully as we were sitting there my husband seen Pete (the other driver) and waved him down.. Pete pulled over.. Pete and my dh started changing out fuses.. well that didn't work... ugh!!!!.. so mike told pete to go dump his third load and get fuel if need be.. and to get his butt back down to where we were at.. 1 hr and 1/2 Pete pulled back up .. and Mike and Pete and myself put me and my kids in pete's truck where there was heat... and they still tried for 30 minutes to get the truck to start.. no go :( .. there was fuel in the truck so that wasn't the problem either.. just one headache after another.. ending result was leaving dh's truck on the side of the road in VA .. and Pete bring us back home .. Than if things couldn't have gotten any worse than this.. we came home to no heat in our home.. that's right we ran out of fuel oil UGH!!.. At this point I was in tears.. nothing is going right for us.. ugh .. Im sick of being tested.. My emotions at that point where so high.. and Im fully stressed out... ugh.. well we bundled the kids up in jammies and blankie sleepers and with blankies to keep them warm.. and me and hubby cuddled under blankets to keep ourselves warm.. we have about $200 to our name.. but a 100 gallons of fuel oil here costs us $209.90.. .. I called my mom as soon as we got home last night.. and explained to her everything that happened.. and such.. and ending result is we called burch oil this am.. they came out immediately.. and my parents kicked in the $$ for us to get heat in our home.. I swear ladies I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for my parents.. they have been there always.. I love them both so much.. makes me ill at times that I have to turn to them.. but mom says Tammy.. you don't worry.. I don't want yall flat broke.. nor do I want my daughter, my son-in-law, and my grandbabies to freeze.. So thankfully we got that squared away.. cept for the fact with dh not having a truck.. he can't work.. :( .. this so stinks.. but at least he got two loads in yesterday.. and tomorrow is my court hearing with the child support issue in regards to me asking for an increasement.. that is @ 8 am.. but I have to be there at 7:45 am .. As I know anything I will definetly keep you all posted.. Im sorry for this long post.. but I just had to come and tell my friends/family online.. best thing of all right now.. is we are at home, safe, and warm...

Love to all...
Huggies,
Tammers~

FYI I will never ever ride with hubby again in a 18-wheeler-LOL

Good Evening Everyone!!

2005-01-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

Wow .. what today has been I have gotten some things down.. but not alot.. I tend to daydream.. like as if I am in la la land rofl.. But I managed to get lots of goodies up at my msn site.. and I will be working on my WWW site this evening and this wknd :) .. .. Girls are pretty much being good.. Andrew is asleep and has been for awhile.. I will be checking on him soon to make sure he is doing ok and not running another temp :( Poor baby.. I feel for him.. .. anyways.. Im just glad it's Friday.. and maybe we all can get some much needed rest.. Hubby works tomorrow.. so again.. it's just me and the kids.... May go over mom's for a lil while .. but that's just in the works right.. anyways.. off I go.. to add a few more things to my msn site.. than offline I go to watch a bit of TV with my kids =) Have a good night everyone!!

2005-01-04T21:12:00.000-05:00

me and my dh the day we were married

2004-12-04T18:52:00.000-05:00

sig tag by Im4Evr80's

Well.. it's really hard for me to tell yall this.. so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell yall...Mike got fired Saturday Morning from his job.. :( .. We have no money for Christmas for the kids.. It's going to take what I have in the bank, and what mike brings home tomorrow (last check) from employer, to pay the rent, which is $870 :(.. We will be lucky to have 100$ in the bank.. So today we went to Housing Authorities and they are going to adjust our rent b'c mike got fired. Mike also applied for unemployment.. We also got the paper work to fill out for food stamps (went by Department of Social Services).. All this all at once, and all around Christmas.. I'm really trying to be strong, for I know god loves me, and love's my family, and will not put much on me, than he knows we all can/can't handle... I'm just beside myself I guess.. :(... The reasoning behind mike being fired was because the man was sick :(... He didn't want to call Russ (his boss) at 4:30 am and wake him and his family.. Out of common courtesy.. Well Mike called 2 other drivers to split his two loads each driver was going to do one of Mikes.. Well.. When Russ caught wind that Mike didn't show up for work (keep in mind he was over his 90 day probation period).. He had been there for almost 5 mos.. Well the owner Billy Crier, called my husband.. and I'm gonna quote what Billy said to Mike "You had better get your ASS down to the shop and talk to Russ, and work things out, or you can hand your cell phone over, your keys, and clean out the truck.. Well Mike went ahead and went up to the shop.. When Mike got there, Russ looked at him and asked him did he have the keys and the cell phone.. Mike said yes.. Russ said hand them over, and clean out your truck, your fired!.. Well before mike could say anything to Russ, .. Russ just fired him... I'm hurt, but more pist.. b'c of all the things to fire the man over.. Being ILL???????? Russ himself took a week off for being sick with the flu.. Me and mike have both been really ill .. but Mike is worse off than I am... His has turned into Bronchitis/Pneumonia.. and this has been since Saturday wee hrs in the morning.. :(.. Needless to say.. We are very worried, b'c our rent is due tomorrow.. Just pray we can at least meet the rent.. May leave us broke.. but we have to do what we have to do.. and like I said above.. I, and mike, both have the paper work to fill out for food stamps.. So I definitely know that my babies won't starve... While I was there .. One of my closet friends I went to HS with.. "Connie".. told me not to worry.. all would be OK... She has this way of reassuring me.. I mean we have been doing things on our own for the last "3" yrs.. and of all times to fire someone.. (during the seasonal (winter months), Christmas time nonetheless.. I'm just hurt.. saddened.. but more angry than anything else...Anyways.. I just needed and wanted to talk to you all. and wanted to keep you all updated.. After all, that's what friends are for right ....Hugs, and love..Tammers~

Good Monday Morning Everyone...

2004-11-22T09:18:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day today. I got up this morning, to find out that my coffee pot is not in working order anymore.. *insert growling*.. So I have to use a pot on the stove and boil water if I want that or hot cocoa.. Other than that I got dressed, got the girls up, dressed, gave my eldest daughter her meds, and off to school they went. Today my eldest son has a therapy appointment, than after that he will most likely go to school, if time permits, since he only goes 1/2 day. I will be home most of the day.. doing laundry.. I did most of my cleaning yesterday, while my wonderful dh watched our "4" children. So today it's a laundry fun day.. NOT!! lol.. I don't mind the washing, drying, or even folding/hanging up.. I dislike have to climb to flights of stairs to put it all away.. Im known to get them up there and have them sit there for about a week rofl.. Am I terrible or what??.. Anyways.. that's my day for today.. and also to work on my www site in between the loads of laundry. Well, Im going to bring this to a close for now.. we will be back laters with some updates :0).. Have a wonderful day everyone!!